The 4.0 Anathema

Some say getting a 4.0 is an anathema but I believe it is a blessing… a prodigious blessing in disguise!

Back in high school, I was the kind of novice who constantly gets favorable grades despite the fact that I oftentimes arrive in my Trig class quarter to 8 in the morning, deftly survive on the googled summaries of Jose Rizal’s writings and some popular English classics, goes home from the fitness center an hour or two after dinner time and could barely thumb through the pages of my Aral. Pan. book, and whatnot. I was too confident and blithe since I know everything will go the way I have all planned in my head.

Then I became a university student in one of the top universities in my country. My “get-tip-top-grades” scholastic perspective has gradually changed.

On my first semester, I was still the typical novice that I was in high school. However, I was  a bit dismayed of my grades. It made me realize how dull-witted  I was for being too happy-go-lucky and even blamed the school where I graduated  for not teaching me those freaking presumed  easy high school lessons!

Anyhow, that’s not what I want to unfold here.  What I’m trying to say is that I have grasped another thought: I AM AFRAID THAT MY PLANS WILL TURN INTO HAVOC.

Last semester was dreadfully grueling – physically, mentally, emotionally  and spiritually! Those late nights when I overdose myself with caffeine trying to keep my eyes freaking wide open whilst writing my organic laboratory report, my conspicuous dark circles that I have dabbed with concealer, BB cream and powder twice,  taking in dietary supplements that enhances brain functions and increase body iron level every single day, constantly talking to myself like I’m a crazy Iska (or am I?), consuming dark chocolates  and ice cream to ease depression which lead me to become more pudgy,  and  not sharing my struggles with a Christian friend (because I fell from grace).

31^st of March 2014. 9:47 am. I heard my phone’s vibration. Squinting my eyes, I  read the text message from my coursemate notifying us regarding the Org chem grades.  I was jolted awake and felt a bit of terror as I was intolerantly waiting for her reply. Her response was too straightforward. She simply replied with a “4.0”.  It was the most (literally) heartbreaking  write back I have ever received in my entire life. I drew a deep breath and replied her with “Okay. Thanks! *insert smiley face here*”  From that moment, I suddenly talked to God and asked Him, “Of all people who could possibly get a 4.0, why me? I gave my very best in my formidable academic works. Ano ang kulang sa ginawa ko Lord? I don’t understand You. Why are you doing this to me?”

Of course I was displeased, but once I accepted that moping at God was not going to change anything. He did not answer me in a split of a second. But as months have passed, the answer seems to be crystal clear to me.  He amiably provided friends and family to 'pick me up' and steer me in the right direction towards success - the 4-day youth camp, Lifebox UPV’s new formed smallgroup,  and presently doing a  ONE-2-ONE sessions with my High school classmate who is presently discipling me and help me return to the right path. I was truly blessed up to this very moment that – “Without God in your life, YOU ARE NOTHING. “  (Bible verse check: John 15:5)

During my 4-month summer,  I had 4 realizations:

1.  Not everything I plan is also God’s plan.

Bible verse check:  Isaiah 55:8 “'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord.”

I believe this 4.0 anathema taught me not to rely on myself too much. This is God’s way of threatening me  or else He’d make me fail the course FOR REAL. *gasps* I know and He knows He won’t allow that to happen to her pudgy princess. He knows best and we are called to put trust on His sovereign wisdom as we live for Him. I may not know what is exactly is His plan for my life even so I need not to worry and just pray. 

Bible verse check: Philippians 4:6-7 “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

2. Always put God first before everything else.

Bible verse check: Proverbs 3:6 “In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths.”

One of the huge mistakes I’ve committed from previous semesters was prioritizing other things other than God such as not going to church on Sundays (because too many school works to be done). This leads to Idolatry – one of the 7 deadly sins. By defining idolatry, it is anything that replaces God. Apart from the statues and icons found in some churches or temples, Idolatry can be anything that you love and admire more than you do so to God. In my case, academic work was my idol. I felt remorseful after hearing this from a sermon of a Pastor. Henceforth, it is important keeping His day holy and worship Him. To acknowledge God is to recognize Him in all our undertakings. Just simply trust Him and He will help you keep on track.

“Those who know themselves, find their own understandings a broken reed, which, if they lean upon, will fail. Do not design any thing but what is lawful, and beg God to direct thee in every case, though it may seem quite plain. In all our ways that prove pleasant, in which we gain our point, we must acknowledge God with thankfulness. In all our ways that prove uncomfortable, and that are hedged up with thorns, we must acknowledge him with submission. It is promised, He shall direct thy paths; so that thy way shall be safe and good, and happy at last.” – Matthew Henry’s Commentary

3. I have understood Organic Chemistry better.

Because of the 4.0 Anathema, my confidence boosted with God’s help whilst taking the exam. Nothing feels better than unraveling the mystery of Mr. Carbon and  his fellow elements and share each other’s electrons via different reaction mechanisms. And oh, another notion I’ve learned: It is all about survival of the weakest. *winks*

4. Share my knowledge with my co-takers.

I suppose this is the bring to light of my 4.0 anathema: I AM THE BLESSING IN DISGUISE.  As a cliché quote goes, “Share your blessings”,  God used me to help my fellow co-takers grasp the lessons better. And hey, they’re blessings in my life too!  My knowledge was challenged whenever they ask me questions.  It was on that night that I appreciated group studying. 

All-inclusively, I was ABOUT TO FAIL but I thank the Lord He spared me from such. I thank Him as well for this circumstance for the reason that I am finally starting to grow spiritually after years of being a Christian and continue to hold on to Him, put trust in Him and always, ALWAYS make Him my top priority above all else.

Go for Tres! In Jesus' name!

“ Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

- 1 Thessalonians 5:18

God’s Mighty Princess,

rose imee